


Four Times Kirk Tried to Seduce Spock, and One Time He Succeeded

by belmanoir



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-09
Updated: 2012-04-09
Packaged: 2017-11-03 08:46:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/379491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belmanoir/pseuds/belmanoir





	Four Times Kirk Tried to Seduce Spock, and One Time He Succeeded

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mrs_laugh_track](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrs_laugh_track/gifts).



1\. 

Jim's never been in this situation before. _Never._ He's never been so unsure how to tell someone how he felt, what he wanted--no, what he _needed_. He's hardly ever even _had_ to tell anyone. He gropes through his memories to back before the Academy, before Starfleet. _Dates,_ he thinks.

He asks Spock to join him for dinner at the ship's bowling alley. He smiles and flirts and is charming, and lets Spock win at bowling. Or--he _would_ have let Spock win, if Spock hadn't beat him soundly with no effort required. He thinks that everything's going fine. 

Afterwards, he walks Spock back to his quarters. This he knows, the pause, the eye contact before it's right to lean in. Then, just as he's about to make his move, Spock says, "Good evening, Captain," and smiles at him--no, he doesn't _smile_ , but he does whatever Spock does instead--and goes inside and shuts the door.

It takes Jim a few minutes of standing in the corridor staring at Spock's door before he realizes why it didn't work. They always take their meals together. And, Jim realizes, he always smiles and flirts with Spock. Spock had no idea anything was going on at all. 

Perhaps he needs advice.

 

2.

"Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a relationship counselor! _I'm_ not the biggest Casanova in the fleet. What do you usually do?"

Kirk slaps the table in frustration. "This isn't the usual, Bones."

"Then you'd better find a way to _make_ it the usual, Jim, because the usual _works._ "

Jim gives it some thought. On their next away mission, they're being shot at, and Jim pushes Spock behind him, shielding him with his body.

Spock looks decidedly offended. "If you have decided I am no longer reliable in a fight, Captain, you had better begin excluding me from the landing party rotation." 

 

3\. 

Things seem to be going well for Mr. Scott and Lieutenant Palamus, despite Bones's dark predictions. It's difficult for Jim to bring himself to ask Scotty for advice, but eventually he manages it--blushing like a cadet, no doubt.

Scotty looks doubtful. "Well, sir, I--it depends on the girl, don't you see."

Kirk grits his teeth. "There is no _girl_ , Mr. Scott."

Scotty blinks. "I do find that a little lubrication can speed things along," he offers at last. 

Kirk draws himself up. " _Mr._ Scott, I--"

"I've a fine bottle of Scotch in my quarters if you think it could be of assistance," he finishes cheerfully.

"Ah, yes," Kirk says, deflating. "Lubrication. I see. Your sacrifice won't be necessary, Mr. Scott, but thank you."

Scotty looks relieved. "Happy hunting, Captain!"

It seems like a reasonable suggestion. Perhaps alcohol will ease that Vulcan need for control and bring emotion a little closer to the surface. God knows, Jim could use some Dutch courage himself.

That night at dinner, he overrides Spock's protests and convinces him to sample a newly smuggled bottle of Romulan ale. After two glasses, Spock puts his head down on the table and begins to sob. It's dreadful and goes on for hours. Spock sniffles and moans and produces a steady stream of unintelligible, broken laments in which the word "Mother" is the only thing Jim can make out. 

The following day, when Spock appears on the bridge, he offers a stiff scientific explanation which seems to boil down to _half-Vulcans are sad drunks._

 

4.

Nurse Chapel narrows her eyes at him. "You're going to do right by Mr. Spock, aren't you? Because if you're just going to sleep with him once or twice and then toss him aside like you do your other conquests, I--"

"Thank you for your concern, Miss Chapel," Kirk says sharply. "I assure you that Mr. Spock's well-being is every bit as important to me as it can be to you."

She presses her lips together. "If you say so, Captain. I do have a book on Vulcan mating biology and traditions if you'd like to borrow it. You know Vulcan, don't you?"

"Er--what?"

She sighs.

" _You_ know Vulcan?"

"It's a beautiful language," she says firmly. "Very romantic."

"Can you just give me the highlights of the book?"

She relents. "You should understand that kissing isn't nearly as common among Vulcans as it is for us," she says. "The first step for a Vulcan couple is hand-to-hand contact. Can you show me the _ta'al_?"

He looks at her blankly.

"The traditional Vulcan greeting, sir." She holds up her hand in Spock's "live long and prosper" gesture.

He can't do it. She looks despairing.

"You don't--that is, I'm sorry--you and Mr. Spock--?"

Her face softens. "Yeoman Rand and I are very happy, sir, thank you for asking. I wish you and Mr. Spock all the best."

 

5\. 

After a week of practice, he still can't seem to do the Vulcan greeting with any ease. Desperate, he tries a last resort. "Mr. Spock, if you found yourself with feelings--romantic feelings--for another crew member, how would you go about making this other person aware of them?"

Spock tilts his head quizzically. "You beg the question, Captain, in supposing that I would wish to make them aware of my feelings at all."

Jim frowns. "Why wouldn't you?"

"There might be any number of reasons, Captain. We are speaking hypothetically, are we not?"

"Of course," Jim says hastily. 

"Hypothetically, then, I work with this individual. Perhaps we even share a personal friendship. To tell them I desire them would jeopardize those relationships, with no assurance of gain to compensate for the possible loss. Besides, as illogical it is, rejection is painful even for Vulcans."

The reasons are only too familiar. "Then you think I should ignore my--affection for this person? Hypothetically, of course." 

"I did not say that, Captain," Spock says slowly. "You asked me what _I_ would do. My position as first officer is less secure than yours as captain; in your case it is certainly the other party who would be required to leave the ship in the event of any conflict. Furthermore, you have always found it easy to form new friendships. May I ask who you have set your sights on? Speaking purely hypothetically." He raises a mocking eyebrow, skin a paler green than usual.

Jim doesn't answer the question. "But Spock," he presses, "if you _did_ wish to make this person aware of your feelings, how would you go about it?"

Spock raises his other eyebrow. "When I wish someone to know something, Captain, I generally find that the simplest, most logical solution is to tell them."

Jim gulps. "I see."

"Will that be all?" He turns to go.

Jim seizes Spock's wrist. Spock freezes, looking between Jim's hand and his face with pointed mildness. "No, Spock, that will _not_ be all, dammit! I--"

Suddenly it's familiar. _This_ is what he usually does. He lets go of Spock's wrist, takes his upper arms in a unyielding grip, and leans in too close. It's always been too close, and now he can tell that Spock knows that too. A tremor goes through Spock's rigid body. "Of course it's not hypothetical," he says intently. "I've been trying to seduce you for weeks. I even had Nurse Chapel try to teach me that Vulcan hand thing. You're driving me mad, Spock!"

Spock tenses further. "You have been engaging in _ozh'esta_ with Miss Chapel?" He sounds murderous.

Jim smiles a little. "No."

Spock's muscles relax under his hands. "Good. If you wish to be instructed in the Vulcan ways of"--he clears his throat--"courtship, I will be happy to do so myself."

"Very well." Jim's body sings with victory. "But I'd prefer to call it 'love.'"

Spock not-smiles. "You may call it whatever you wish," he agrees.


End file.
